Tuesday, July 5, 2011
We Should Have Skipped Out On The 4th of July
Last night against my better judgement I took my kids to see the fireworks. Now as their Mother I can tell you that there are times when it's best that we just stay home.
Last night was one of those nights. But that little voice in the back of my mind kept saying, "it'll be fine, they'll calm down, it's the 4th of July and they shouldn't miss out on the joy of watching fireworks."
I should have ignored that little voice and saved myself the headache, heart ache and spent the evening watching a movie instead.
I don't mean to complain - but all I did last night was snap at my kids for being too loud, shh them for complaining about boredom and the speed at which the sun went down.
Even though once the sun did finally go down, and the fireworks started up I saw a glimmer of hope...
It didn't last long.
During the entire fireworks show, which lasted a whole 10 minutes (mind you after waiting for an hour and a half) my kids complained about the bugs, boom of the fireworks and one of them about getting something in their eyes.
All I could think was - this wasn't what I signed up for when I had kids.
That and the fact that I was that Mother. The one that I had always looked at with pity. The one with the kids that wouldn't listen or obey. The one that I wondered if she knew what a treasure her kids were. The one that I wanted to shake and say - take a breath. Breathe in the scent of childhood in the air. It's important that you realize that you as their Mother can make or break this time in their lives.
I was that Mother.
It had already been a long day, but I wanted to do what I thought was right for my kids.
I didn't want them to miss out on what I knew every other kid in America was doing at that very moment. I couldn't stomach the thought of sending them to bed, even though I know that's that they really needed. Instead I kept them up way past the bedtime that their behavior was warranting.
This wasn't what I was envisioning as I looked into their beautiful faces in the delivery room. When I brought them home from the hospital with such adoration in my heart I had no clue that they would become just like every other kid in the world...
Incapable of doing more than they can handle.
Motherhood isn't always a piece of cake. Some days it's not fun.
Thankfully today is a new day. We can start again. We can choose to try to make today better than yesterday. Today, this is what I choose.
I'm going to put a smile on my face and wait for it to take shape in my heart as well.
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Great post! I've tried to keep my little one up a few times for parties or events, including her 1st birthday party. It never went well.
ReplyDeleteHey Mellisa - we skipped out on fireworks and I did have some mommy guilt. Reading this post helped a lot! :)
ReplyDeleteApril
We missed the fireworks this year. And while I thought I'd feel bad about this fact, I really, really don't. Motherhood is full of botched-by-children moments, events, holidays like the one that you describe in your post. It's tough, but I'm learning it comes with the territory.
ReplyDeleteAh, a new day always brings new promise.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, I have had those days as well. As I was reading all I could think, was, "Oh my gosh, that is ME sometimes. I'm that mother also!" Hoping your smile will shine through your heart today!
ReplyDelete~Mimi
This was my very first year sitting on the couch for 4th of July, and you know what? It wasn't bad at all. I was comfy, I watched fireworks on tv, and I didn't wear myself out. It happens. And there's always next year.
ReplyDelete