Saturday, July 2, 2011
9th Year of Marriage (guest post)
This Sunday I will be celebrating my 10th wedding anniversary. I thought it would be really fun to celebrate with a week of guest posts about all the years leading up to this milestone anniversary. I put a call out on twitter and a group of wonderful ladies agreed to help me.
On the ninth year of marriage, Melissa (@PBinmyHair) from:
Real Romance isn’t Novel
At heart, I’m a girly girl. I love a good sappy romance movie or novel, with happy endings and over down dramatic gestures. I wanted to be swept off my feet by a prince on a white horse who showered me with roses and affection. I was swept off my feet alright, but there was no horse, and no grand elaborate gestures.
I was 20 years old and a junior in college when I met my husband for the fourth time. It was Christmas break I had just broken up, and by just I mean over Thanksgiving break, with my latest crush/boyfriend. Apparently I was more serious than him. It’s how most relationships ended, I wanted more than the could or would give. I wanted cuddles and roses and romance, just like in the movies! Darn it I wanted swooning! I vividly remember saying to my girlfriends as we sat around the night before leaving..."I feel the one for me is out there, already chosen for me and I missed him, passed him by or passed him over, or something. Like we have missed each other.” Turns out he was out there and we had missed each other!
When I “met” my husband at the New Years party his best friend dragged him to (hosted by my best friend who he- the best friend- was trying to get back together with, follow that?) it was the fourth time we had meet. We met when I was a senior in high school (though for reasons I will not disclose I didn’t remember it). We met that previous summer and he was too busy hitting on a younger girl to notice me, and later that summer he thought I was dating the friend I was with. So our story was kind of like the movies, but more like a romantic comedy!
We have been together since that New Years Eve, for 14 New Years Eve’s now. This October we will be married for 10 years. What I have learned in those years is that romance isn’t the stuff of movies and novels, it's the smaller things...
...romance is driving hours to see you in at school even when it’s not clear your car will survive the drive
...romance is defending you to friends and family
...romance is always walking on the edge of the sidewalk so he’s between the traffic and you
...romance is grabbing your hand in the car
...romance is a bouquet of Lilly's, or daises, or a wild flower mix because you had a bad day, or they reminded him of you
...romance is holding back your hair when you are sick as a dog
...romance is talking care of the kids when they get stomach bugs because you can’t handle it
...romance is knowing when mommy needs a break and making it happen
...romance is always doing bath time and bedtime with the kids
...romance is a peck on the cheek while your making dinner
...romance is telling her she’s beautiful when it’s 4 in the morning, she hasn’t showered in days and the baby just vomited on her (true story)
...romance is always having the coffee made when you wake up
...romance is making it through the tough times stronger than before
...romance is all the little things done that show you are loved.
Grand gestures are nice, but it’s the little bits of romance in the everyday that make a marriage.
Melissa is mom to 3 kids (4mo-6yrs) and 1 angel. She used to dream of traveling the world, now she dreams of a clean kitchen. She writes about all the sticky bits of motherhood at Peanut Butter in my Hair, and hides from her children on Twitter (@PBinmyHair).
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