Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Not Quite A Fairy Tale
First comes love. Then marriage. Then the baby carriage. Or at least that is the way that I grew up thinking it's supposed to go. When Hubby and I were dating I had very strong opinions about the area of marriage. I thought very strongly that before we could get married...we would need to live together. Growing up with half sisters/brothers and divorced parents I knew that a lasting marriage was worth more than going along with the standard form of lifelong courting. I thought we need to make sure that we could stand each other. Live with all of the little things that are kept hidden while dating. You know those annoying little traits that each and everyone of us have...those I gotta see and see if we can live with them. We have to know now when the stakes aren't as high whether we really and truly see eye to eye and understand where our hearts and minds lie.
As it happens we didn't live together long before I got pregnant. Still in my heart of hearts I knew that getting married was the wrong choice right away. We needed to wait and see. We were young. Oh so young now looking back I still can't believe that we made it out of that time in our lives attached, attracted and still very much in love. It was stressful and life changing to say the least. But our son was born on a happy day to happy parents. But still I held off. I stood strong on my choice - and Hubby being so young wasn't pushing for any more life changes either. I wanted something more for myself and my children - I wanted a stable home. I wanted 2 parents devoted to their children and each other.
Then one day out of the blue it hit me. I was just going about my business looking through the mail - Jakob's birth certificate had arrived. I opened it and cried. I wept tears like you have never seen. In between gasps for breath I realized that this child who had taken over my body with pregnancy - and my heart with his entrance into the world - this person that I was amazed, inspired and mystified by...had a different last name.
The saddest part. I filled out the birth certificate form. I wrote in my full name and Hubby's. It just didn't hit me - the staggering finality of this piece of paper. The paper that he would need in all the most important moments of his life would be a constant reminder - that at one time...he and I didn't have the same last name.
After I dried my tears and cleaned myself up a bit. Hubby and I agreed: It's was time to get married.
Not the most romantic story. But it's ours.
This year Hubby and I will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary. 10 years of putting up with each others little things. 10 years of building a life and family. 10 years of sticking together. 10 years of trying to make it work. 10 years.
Did we do it the right way? I don't know. Would I want the same for my sons or daughter? I can't say. But I do know this. I love this man. For the next few weeks I will be sharing different memories and stories from the last 10 years.
I will also be sharing some guest posts from blogger's in different stages of the marriage game. Thanks so much to all these lovely ladies we will be entertained with their stories of marriage and love.
Engaged:
@wickedsweettea http://www.wickedsweettea.com/
1rst year of marriage:
@Darls10 http://youngmammatales.blogspot.com/
2nd year of marriage:
@MimzyWimzy http://mimzywimzythinksandthoughts.blogspot.com/
3rd year of marriage:
@OhLovelyQs
4th year of marriage:
@YoungWifesTale http://youngwifestale.com/blog/about/
5th year of marriage:
@onesiemommy http://www.onesiemommy.com/
6th year of marriage:
@amyradish http://www.alittlenosh.net/
7th year of marriage:
@heidiray42 http://www.restinginthemystery.blogspot.com/
8th year of marriage:
@lisanoel03 http://www.ohboyohboyohboy.com/
9th year of marriage:
@PBinmyHair http://www.peanutbutterinmyhair.com/
10th year of marriage:
@FaithRPhoto http://www.faith-simplicity.blogspot.com/
Where are you in the marriage game?
P.S. I am also on the lookout for sponsors to celebrate this awesome achievement (let's be honest in this day and time it really is)with a bang.
We will be celebrating June 22 - July 3rd. Have a product or pitch that you think would fit?
E-mail me at mellisarock@yahoo.com.
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You did what was right for you at that time. Nothing wrong with that! Yay for hitting 10 years!
ReplyDeleteLove this post; it makes me reflect on my past expectations and hopes compared to where I am now. It's cliche but absolute truth that life has a funny way of changing plans on you. Hurrah for finding (and sticking with) happiness, no matter how you got there!
ReplyDeleteHere's our tale...we're almost to 10 years now and the love is growing deeper and stronger every year!
ReplyDeletehttp://suchakingdom.blogspot.com/2010/09/happy-anniversary-beloved.html
I didn't realize you chose me as a guest blogger. Cool! What do I need to do?
ReplyDeleteAmy @ A Little Nosh
You know what? I think you are having a fairy tale. It's just your version of it. I've been separated (completely) for over 4 1/2 yrs and working towards a divorce. I'm so ready to move on. Being alone for that long has been hard, but good for me!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your upcoming 10 yr anniversary.
~Mimi