Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Writing Down Memories of My Great "Grand" Mother
Is it wrong that I am proud of my Great Grandmother for skipping school?
Listening to her one adventure in truancy last week got me to thinking about the risks that we take in life. She was never one to break the rules but after lunch (of a hamburger and Pepsi Cola that her mother paid weekly for at a local cafe) she noticed that the roller skating rink was going full blast. I guess it was too tempting because instead of heading back to class she stayed and skated until school was over. I asked her if she was scared going back - She said no. I just went around back and got on the bus like normal. But the guilt of what she had done or the fear of someone telling on her caused her to march into the principle's office and let him know that she had skipped school. You might be thinking that she got detention or in trouble - but the principle laughed at her.
When I told Mother about the book that I just finished reading, she shared her experiences of segregation and equality. I have grown up in a world where everyone is equal (as in I never knew any different) but she went from completely separated races to now. While listening to her talk about it I kept thinking this shouldn't have happened in her lifetime but so many years before that.
She said when she was going to school it was segregated, but when her daughters were in high school it wasn't. She talked about her fear of her blond headed daughters going to school with black people - she said looking back it was really stupid. She talked about the cafe that she used to go to at lunch - they couldn't come in there either but instead had to go to a walk up window. She talked about walking into a cafe in her new hometown and there was a black couple sitting at a table just inside the door - and she turned around and walked out. She said I just don't know why I did that...it's was so stupid.
As I sat there listening I know that I was born in the easier time. I told her what I thought. That you can't control what you are taught as a child but you can make a conscious decision to teach tolerance and equality to your own kids.
I asked her if she can remember the time that she came to know that racism was wrong. Then she told me about the day that she had to be swam across the river.
She was walking home from school with her sister. To get home they had to cross a bridge and there had been so much rain that week that it was flooding. She and her sister stood on one side of the bank and her home on the other. She said that a black boy from school came along and helped them. He swam her sister across then came back for her. She was so terrified that they were going to drown and so grateful that he was their to help. She said I will never forget him or his kind spirit. This was definitely a different time - I couldn't imagine it being OK for my kids to swim across a river to get home from school - I'm terrified of them even walking home. This memory while vivid wasn't enough to ease her fear when her daughters started school though. We talked about the talk of the town at the time and how people would get so worked up spreading rumors and hate.
Last Wednesday I sat with Mother feeling overwhelmingly proud. She was a spitfire in high school and instead of standing proud on the principles taught to her by her parents, she is very aware of how completely wrong they were in that aspect.
I am so thankful that I am getting to spend this time with Mother every Wednesday night. I love that she will have a cup of coffee and just talk. The more that I visit with her the more I feel the need to write everything down. Her memories aren't always easily digestible or even nice but they feel important just the same. I begin to wonder if everyone in my family has heard these stories and knows what she has experienced in her lifetime.
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Yes, you should write those memories down! They will mean much to you and your children one day. It's amazing how much history is found within our own families, history that is often not shared and passed down because no one asks the right questions.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to go against things that you were taught.
ReplyDeleteThis is some great stuff!! Keep on writing it down!! :)
ReplyDeleteI have lost all of my grandparents. My Hubby still has his. Grammy is 86 and to this day lives as if she is in the depression. Grandpa is 91 (still driving!) and I'm thinking I should encourage my Hubby to take some time to sit and talk about "back in the day" with them. My son is always asking us what things were like for Grammy & Grandpa... uh, ask them!
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